July is for Processing!

It’s July, and I finally remembered I’m not worthless, and my creative puttering has been productive. Work was getting done, but not with any sense of “what it all means”. I didn’t have the time for reflection. I was helping my parents move out of their house and downsize, involving several cross country drives and flights. It didn’t allow for large chunks of time to just create. Upon reflection, large chunks of unstructured time is overrated. I work better in between moments.

I’m processing the work made over the past three years, and it’s pretty good. I’m grateful I can make art in the first place. Not all of it is photo related, and the inner-critic tells me “if it isn’t photo related, it doesn’t count.” (See above)

I don’t know where that condition for existing comes from, but it sucks the fun out of everything, including photography. My pictures are no good because I’m doing this other stuff, which I actually enjoy, but feel guilty for enjoying it, because I’m not taking pictures. Inner-critics like to set up systems where you can’t win for trying.

Instead of not taking pictures, I stopped taking pictures the way I used to. It wasn’t until about LAST WEEK I noticed a large volume of work to edit and process. I’d been busy making, not sorting or editing.

The reality of any art practice is a lot of time is spent gathering materials, sketching, and doing what seems like goofing off. It’s not.

Sidebar to all the people without a project in mind, keep plugging away. Something will come out of all that stuff you’re doing.

My camera has another way of seeing things, which makes it fun. Relying on chance and uncertainty means that by the time it comes to develop, I have no idea where anything was taken. I am photographing unknown spaces.

It sure feels like that’s been my life for the past few years, making images on the fly. Honestly, time and movement have been a major part of my creative curiosity all along.

The idea that a portfolio must have a clear, consistent look or theme for it to convey a message is not always accurate. I use the boundaries of time to organize my images. Most of my creative intention is “That looks pretty cool.”

My creative practice is like walking along the beach, filling my pockets with beautiful stones, and showing you what I’ve found.

Doing Nothing Is Something

It’s Memorial Day, and I’m doing nothing. It is a beautiful day outside, first day of Summer, and I’m inside. I’m not interested in going to a parade, sitting at the beach, or working in the garden. I don’t want to go shopping, I don’t want to fix anything today. I’m sitting doing nothing, except writing about doing nothing.

I’ll probably go down to the basement, where it is cool and dark like a cheese cave, and putter.

This is not wasting time. I do have things to consider.

I need to start thinking about what to do about Filter Photo in September. I signed up again and it should be fun. I have low expectations for it, but it will be fun to make some work to show.

I’m also figuring out what to say to some clients and also planning a landscape project in Newport. There are a lot of things kicking around the head and none of them have resolution.

Today, I’m not feeling the need to resolve anything. By not insisting on productivity, I might get some clarity. The anxiety that pops up saying I should be “doing something” isn’t always correct. It’s taken me a while to recognize that.

Have a great day.

Process Not Perfection

I attended Fotofest in 2001. I had the chance to talk with with Burt Finger of Photos Do not Bend Gallery. He and his wife Missy sold me my first piece of art: Keith Carter Dog Ghost.

We were talking about life and art during a break. I was 31 at the time and very much into being a deep and profound artist. Burt was patient, kind, and quick to laugh. Still is.

I’ll never forget what he said, “When I came back from Vietnam, I swore I’d never be petty. I’d never take anything for granted, Every day will be a gift. You know what, Ron, it didn’t take too long for me to get right back to being petty and taking everything for granted.”

In 2001, my first wife Lisa Garner, was still alive and in the next room. I felt I had the world at my feet. The only really painful stuff I had experienced could be chalked up to witnessing the normal progression of life: deaths, breakups, 8th grade graduation.

I’ll be 49 this year. I’d like to say I’m more more reflective and less petty. I have experienced a portion of joy and pain associated with being on the planet and loving people while I’m at it. I take it all for granted more often than not. It’s part of being human. No one among us can maintain perfect spiritual balance all the time. That isn’t my  problem. My problem is thinking that I can’t function until such is the case.

I’m a 48 year old confused artist who hasn’t really made anything of comment for a while who says “I’ll never take anything for granted.” while watching movies about a dead artists who couldn’t take anything for granted.

However, just for today, I’m not going to take it for granted (fearful) and say “I’ll take pictures or write tomorrow.” Today, I remember that conditions are never ideal to work. Creativity needs something to work against.

Keith Carter, wrote on one of his cameras “It’s your job”. Just take the damn picture and forget how you feel. The obstacles and distractions are not there to punish you for having an idea, but there to direct your actions to the parts that need more attention.

In that spirit, have a great day.