It is scary to do things that really matter. Most people procrastinate without even knowing it. We’re so programmed to be busy, it’s easy to lose sight of “the big picture”. Throw in a little A.D.D., social media, and be self employed, it’s even worse.
Procrastination is hard to overcome, because it looks like being busy. Procrastination rarely looks like sitting in a chair, doing nothing. It’s organizing the desk, running errands, trying a new recipe, or the thousand forms of “getting ready to get ready” as my grandfather would say.
I have mastered the skill of doing everything but the task at hand, I don’t even know I’m doing it anymore. A lot of my behavior was on full display back in middle school or earlier. This isn’t new, it’s old stuff. So, how do I train myself to procrastinate less?
I need to think about causes and conditions. Why do I procrastinate? I have a few guesses.
I’m afraid of looking bad or “stupid”.
I’m afraid of success
Success means taking responsibility. I don’t like that.
Not doing something that I’m insecure about is a great way to avoid potential pain.
This creates anxiety and depression because I’m very aware that I’m not where I want to be in any project.
I can’t always see the connection between my choices and the results.
Completing something means being accountable for it.
Procrastinating looks like:
Reworking non-essential elements.
Asking for feedback and waiting for a response.
Adjusting the project based on the feedback.
Making the parts I like to do amazing.
Looking for and starting another project that’s “more important”.
This list is not conclusive. At the center of it all is a self-centered, self-created fear that somehow whatever “it” is won’t be good enough, or the right thing. Failure will have me cast out of society, living like a wild animal.
What is helping me change the procrastinating habit?
Instead of just diving in and doing stuff, I flank the habit with new habits.
Addressing the underlying anxiety or fear that drives the behavior.
I give myself some time every morning to just free write, and put down the things that are bugging me.
Eventually, the problems that drive the avoidance response present themselves in a manageable size.
What happens is the anxiety of NOT doing something gets greater than the act I’m avoiding
I’ll never be free of this habit, but it doesn’t have to drive the bus.
Remembering the following thoughts helps
Procrastination is not a moral failing.
Fear of success sometimes is greater than fear of failure.
Becoming curious about what happens next helps.
The frustration of things staying the same gets old after a while.
Allowing new habits to replace old ones takes time and a little compassion for yourself.
The world can be a scary place and our default is to play defense.
Guilt and shame are not sustainable motivators for positive change.
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.”
“When all else fails, lower your standards.”
Just do something to move the ball forward a little bit. Win a skirmish, not the war.
I hope this helps. Writing it down and sharing it makes it less of a burden for me. Thanks for reading.